An article by Tanyalee Davis
DISABILITY NOW ARTICLE 2007
My name is Tanyalee Davis, I’m 3’6” tall, also known as kneecap friendly, and live in, Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada. Las Vegas has some of the biggest casinos in the world so I use a 3-wheeled scooter to get around. When I’m not touring with my comedy I am hanging out at the Harrah’s hotel piano bar.
One night coming back from the loo I left the key in my scooter. Ok I was drunk on cough syrup and forgot it. Later in the evening while dancing on a bar chair I spotted the casino security guards pushing a scooter that looked suspiciously like mine. In fact, it was mine! I hauled ass to my parking spot just as they pushed it around the corner. The guard saw me and said, “I do believe this is yours.” They then informed me that some 21 year old kid, who was drunk off his ass, hijacked my scooter and was driving it around the penny slot machines. They asked if I wanted to press charges against the jackass. They were serious! I asked, “What charges?” They said, “Theft. He’ll spend the night in jail.” My friend Mark wanted me to press charges. I asked the security guard if I could just punch the kid in the balls? I was serious. Pressing charges just seemed too harsh but a mild uppercut to the groin from a dwarf chick would be far more memorable. Security said that my request could not be granted. Darn. Ok I wanted to talk to the kid. Nope I couldn’t do that either. They had him handcuffed over by a wall and I wasn’t allowed to approach. My friend Mark kept insisting I should press charges. I would’ve felt guilty if the kid would end up in jail overnight, on his 21st birthday, with a soon-to-be deflowered bum.
As I stood talking with Mark a guy approached and apologized for his friend who stole my scooter. Since I had no other recourse I let “the friend” have it! I told the kid that the scooter was my only means to get around (even though I have 2 scooters) and that if his stupid friend had broken the scooter I would’ve been stranded. My vacation would’ve been ruined!! (They didn’t really need to know that I live in Vegas). I shed some tears… in fact I gave quite the convincing performance!!... And the Academy Award goes to… I told the friend he better make sure that his thieving buddy knew that I spared him from going to jail and that he could’ve ruined my life with his antics. Big time exaggeration yes but I was on a mission of guilt as my revenge. It made me feel better.
So if you are ever visiting Sin City remember there is no scooter valet; keep and eye on your wheels and the key in your pocket.